|I admire the Sky. -MG Stout 2012|
I haven’t blogged. I’m struggling with my work. Life sometimes sends you a bucket of poop and jeers. This is my current disposition. I’m questioning everything I do. I’m second-guessing every word and every line. There is this little dude sitting on my shoulder with his arms crossed, his brow furrowed, hissing in my ear with very smelly breath, “YOU SUCK”. I know, I whisper to myself. Of course he only behaves this way when I am feeling weak and vulnerable. He’s a bully, an emotional tyrant and right now he is playing me like a fiddle. So I retreat. I excommunicate myself and crawl into bed. I’m larva nestled in my blanket cocoon. I toss and turn. My thoughts race and I pray the Hail Mary over and over.
I’m waiting for the trumpets.
I know they will come, but when?
Meanwhile, I’ll be dragging my rump into the studio every day. I’m an art warrior and I NEVER give up. I’ll paint something. Hate it. Paint over it. Hate that ad infinitum. Fear not good people of the “internets”this too shall pass!
From the tallest mountain hear this, “I will paint a thousand appalling paintings to get through this creative limbo.